I have been reading two great books that really seem to go well together. The first is Getting Past No by William Ury (the sequel to ‘Getting to Yes’) and the other is called BLINK - The Power of Thinking without Thinking - by Malcolm Gladwell.

This blog post focuses on one of their synergies. Ury, at p.42 had a chapter titled “Offer an Apology”. He says “Perhaps the most powerful form of acknowledgement is an apology…………We often overlook the simple power of an apology. An apology often creates the conditions for a constructive resolution of the dispute.”

Gladwell focuses on this same issue in his chapter titled “Listening to Doctors” at p.19. He sets out some fascinating information taken from studies into medical negligence litigation. He says “Patients file lawsuits because they have been harmed by shoddy medical care and something else” What is that ’something else?”

It is how they were treated by the doctor - on a personal level.

He says that what comes up again and again in malpractice cases is that patients say they were rushed or ignored or treated poorly. Studies have revealed that patients tend not to sue doctors that they like.

Patients don’t like doctors who don’t take the time to explain things properly; who don’t relate to them as a whole person; who don’t take the time to explain what happened and to answer their questions. It is the doctors who fail in these ways that end up being sued. So the RELATIONSHIP is at the heart of the decision to sue or not to sue.

ACTIVE LISTENING was found to be a trait that endears doctors to their patients. It is all about HOW they talk to their patients. It comes down to a matter of respect and the simplest way this is communicated is through tone of voice.

The MORAL of these two tales - if you are in a professional relationship with a client and you wish to minimize the chances of ever being sued if you happen to be negligent or careless - pay attention to your active listening skills and how to communicate with the client and ensure that they feel you are treating them with respect. And, if you know you hurt their feelings or that they have been hurt by your mistake - apologize.

New tort laws make provision for apologies to be offered by the service provider without it being used against them as an admission of liability But how many professionals are putting this liberty into productive and compassionate action?

Something to think about.

Chris Whitelaw

Barrister and Mediator